Self Improvement

Men! Your lover wants an orgasm during your lovemaking!

Though she may not want to come every time you have sex, she certainly isn't going to be too pleased if sex ends when you've ejaculated, turned over and gone to sleep! The best way to ensure her sexual pleasure is to make sure she's had an orgasm before you come. There are several sex positions which are more likely to make this happen. So, without further ado, here's our suggested list of sex positions that will let her get the orgasm she craves, while making sure you don't miss out on your orgasm!


First of all, if you haven't tried the woman on top position, then check it out! Many women like having the upper hand, so to speak, when it comes to enjoying sex - it's a position that allows them to move in the way that gives them the greatest pleasure, whether that's through clitoral stimulation or vaginal stimulation. She can move around much more in this position, and because she's in charge of her movements, she's likely to get orgasmic satisfaction. She can either rub her clitoris against the shaft of your penisgrind it against your body, or lean back or forwards so that her G spot gets the exact pressure it needs to give her pleasure. If you can last long enough before you ejaculate, this is the position that gives her the greatest chance of reaching orgasm during sexual intercourse.

If she wants to improve the feelings in her vagina, she can use her PC muscles to squeeze your penis: that will increase your pleasure, and it will certainly increase the pressure on her G spot - and therefore increase the chances of her having an orgasm. (Female ejaculation is a new idea for many men - but basically, if her G spot is stimulated for long enough, and in the right way, when she reaches orgasm, the fluid that collects in glands around her vagina will squirt out during the muscular contractions of her orgasm.)

And another advantage of woman on top sex is that you can enjoy the sight of her breasts, and caress them as she moves on top of you. Of course, if she's facing away from you, then you have the pleasure of watching her buttocks as she moves. But a lot of men find this position, (when she faces away from the man,)uncomfortable because it bends the penis too much.

And what next? Well, the good ol' missionary position. But before you groan, think again. Many women like missionary position sex, because it allows for those deep moments of intimacy and connection that women adore. And men like the position too! Sex in the man on top position, when the woman has her legs bent upwards, her knees near her chest, allows for deep penetration and lots of loving feeling. Even better, if you have an erection which curves upwards, as many do, then sex in the man on top position will allow your penis to stimulate her G spot as you make love. Combine this with a little clitoral play, either with a vibrator or with your fingers, and you have the best of all possible worlds for her!

As a refinement, you can stop thrusting, and move your hips in a circular pattern. The penis moves in a very interesting way in the vagina! This sex position is called Churning The Butter in Tantric sex circles, and it can send her into multiple, ongoing orgasm. Another variation is to try eight shallow thrusts followed by one deep one. The shallow thrust should just press on her G spot, so don't go more than a couple of inches into her vagina when you try this routine.

Another great idea for her to achieve orgasm is to have her sitting on a table or, alternatively, any other surface where you can enter her vagina as you stand in front of her with her legs apart. Sex in this position is great because you can thrust into her while you kiss and hold each other. To increase the chances of her reaching orgasm, you can give her a little extra clitoral attention. In any case, in this position your regular thrusting may catch her G spot in the way needed to bring her to a rapid climax. It's also a lot more exciting to be having sex in a new position and out of the bedroom. The added excitement of this can help take you both to a quicker and more powerful climax.

Next, there's a very gentle and easy sex position known as the "spoons" position. She lies on her side with her back towards you, while you enter her vagina from behind. This is a very easy position to get into, particularly if she lifts her upper leg a little bit while you push into her. The best thing about this sexual position is how good it feels - for both of you. You can reach around her, fondle her breasts, and kiss back, while she (or you) can stimulate her clitoris. Another great addition to this position is the opportunity to make love on your sides while you face each other.

The best way to get into the facing side by side sex position is by starting from the man on top, have her raise her knees towards her chest and then roll over onto your sides (agree which way you're going first!)). You can keep going for much longer in this position before you come, as there's much less pressure on your penis. And, with the right attention, and perhaps a helping rub on or around her clitoris, she will reach orgasm before you ejaculate, so you can have the pleasure of being triggered into your own orgasm by feeling her coming around your penis inside her vagina.

And lastly, what about the thrill of the rear entry sex position? This primal position is many men's favorite sex position, being so rude and raunchy, and it usually makes men come quite quickly. But lots of women like it too, and there are plenty of good reasons for this. It allows deep penetration, it allows her to express her sexuality to the full, letting her thrust and ride her lover as she wishes, and, best of all, it hits her G spot! Rear entry sex is very primal, particularly if you hold her hips and guide her movements. If she raises or lowers her hips, you'll get a lot of variation in sensation - so you can find the exact position that gives you both the greatest pleasure.

There you are, then: a series of sex positions which give you a chance of the woman's orgasm during sex. But if you're the man, and these positions don't help her reach orgasm on their own, don't worry. Help her enjoy an orgasm from oral sex or masturbation before you enter her, and you'll both be abe to enjoy sex to the full.

Being able to reach orgasm during intercourse feels great, but don't forget there are plenty of other ways of getting sexual satisfaction!

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Popular imagery - especially porn - can make us all feel inferior and inadequate when it comes to making love. Men think they should be like studs who pound away for hours until their woman collapses in a sweat-soaked orgasmic heap, but only after five mind-blowing orgasms in a row. Women are given images of moaning sex goddesses who reach orgasm as their insatiable lover thrusts deep into them while he controls their every move and takes them to sexual bliss. At least, that's what you might believe if you get your concept of lovemaking from most porno movies.

(And if you do get your ideas about sex from porn films, remember that men with nine inch erections dispassionately using women for their own satisfaction is definitely not normal.)


The truth, of course, as many of us suspect from our own lovemaking, is that most men come quite quickly, and many don't know how to prevent premature ejaculation - or they've long since given it up as a hopeless cause - while most women never come at all during vaginal intercourse. That may be hard to believe; maybe you even believe there's something wrong with you if you're a man who can't make love for ages or you're a woman who can't achieve orgasm during sex, but research has shown these things are normal.

One survey, by VulvaVelvet, showed that less than one woman in five claims to reach orgasm during intercourse without any additional stimulation. Other surveys have produced similar results: over 20 years ago, Shere Hite's surveys showed that only one woman in four of women reached orgasm through intercourse without more stimulation of their clitoris. Most of the rest only came if they had a helping hand on their clitoris. Things are no different today.

However, maybe this is missing the real issue. Maybe we should be asking, "Does this matter?" I guess the answer depends on what each woman wants. Some women may just crave more connection and affection during sex, wanting more more caressing, oral sex and intimacy before vaginal penetration, and to have one or more orgasms before penetration, then the solution lies in her lover taking a different approach to lovemaking. If, however, what she wants is to have an orgasm during vaginal intercourse, then she needs the sex positions and techniques that are more likely to make her come - and a lover who can last long enough to make sure she reaches orgasm.

Hmm...now that begins to sound a bit more challenging.

So, here are some ideas that may help. I'm going to assume that most women need clitoral stimulation of some kind, to reach orgasm, whether this is during intercourse or not. While some women can come from vaginal thrusting alone, most do not, and stimulation of the G-spot depends on the man not ejaculating soon after lovemaking starts, as generally happens..

So here we will offer suggestions as to which sex positions will help a woman to reach orgasm during intercourse, one way or another.

First choice is the familiar missionary position. You'll have noticed, no doubt, that normally the erect penis doesn't go anywhere near the clitoris during intercourse. But the normal man on top sex position can be modified so that the woman receives more pressure on her clitoris, using what's called the Coital Alignment Technique.

After the man enters his partner, face to face, with him on top, he shifts his body higher up, with the result that his penis is entering her vagina from a sharper angle. The bottom of his penis will then be pressed against the area of her clitoris. When the couple are in position, he doesn't thrust. In fact, he pretty much lies on his partner so that his body is shifted higher up, and the couple rock their hips against each other until they both reach orgasm.

This can also be tried with the woman on top, which is likely to be more successful if the man is of large build.

The next likely candidate for achieving orgasm during intercourse is the woman on top sex position. This can lead to orgasm for a woman since she can alter her rhythm of thrusting, adapt the angle of her body, and make sure the depth of penetration is such that she gets the stimulation on her clitoris and vagina most likely to bring her to orgasm.

A similar idea but with the female partner facing away from the man is a position known as the "Reverse Cowgirl". You can work out where that name comes from, I'm sure!

There are another two positions to consider if you're into orgasmic intercourse. First off, if rear entry sex does it for you, there's ample opportunity when you're enjoying sex this way for either partner to play with her clitoris as intercourse proceeds. Making sure that the woman comes before her partner does is crucial, so he may need to reduce the rate of thrusting or stop thrusting altogether during sex so that she can achieve her orgasm. As a couple, you may well be able to reach your orgasms simultaneously.

Last but not least, in this list of sexual positions for orgasm, is the side by side looking at each other position. It's much more romantic than the rear entry position, which some women think is a bit objectifying, and it allows for both gentle, slow lovemaking and faster thrusting. Either he or she can easily reach her clitoris, keeping the pace right until it's time to increase it and achieve orgasm.


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